10 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Look Like A Blogging Newbie
May 19th, 2007 by Court<sarcasm>I’m sure that you all want everyone to think that you’re a blogging newbie! That’s what I want! Wouldn’t that be an awesome way to develop your brand? 
For those of you that want to appear like you actually know a lot about putting together blogs and websites, sorry but you’ve found the wrong place! I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I think that looking like you started yesterday is one of the most important things you can do. I have compiled for you the greatest internet marketing list of all time:
10 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Look Like A Blogging Newbie
- Don’t use title case. Using ‘Make money online like a champ’ for your title would make you look 100 times more like a newbie than ‘Make Money Online Like A Champ’ would. You may want to consider leaving all of the words of your title in lower case, for maximum affect: ‘make money online like a champ’.
- Use the original URLs that look like this: http://courtneytuttle.com/?p=123. Bloggers that have more experience will use these: http://courtneytuttle.com/2007/02/27/not-using-permalinks-search-engine-suicide/. Make sure you don’t have URLs like that if you want to look like you started your blog last week.
- Make 26 categories for your 26 posts. This is a very effective way to look like a blogging newbie so make sure you don’t forget about this one! Adding a new category for every post is a powerful, advanced newbie disclosure method.
- Change your blog’s theme and layout every 13 hours, that way people will know with absolute certainty that you have no idea whatsoever what you want your blog to look like. Tweak your theme relentlessly so that your readers get a chance to see each ‘mess up’ you make in the process.
- Admit openly in your writing that you have no idea what you want your blog to be about. Consult with your readers about what kind of things they would like to learn. Better yet, hold a poll to allow your 7 active readers to determine your blog’s main topic.
- Spread yourself thin. Make sure to cover celebrity news, blogging, real estate, credit card debt, technology, programming, social media, home based business, fast cars, music, movies, books, computers, drug rehab, pet training, exercise, framing, construction, writing, photography, art, wealth, investment banking, and water balloon fighting. Definitely don’t become an expert at any one thing. That would make you look too well-informed and advanced.
- Install your blog in a directory named ‘wordpress’. Using http://yourdomain.com/wordpress/ for the main address of your blog would look a lot more newbie than http://yourdomain.com/ would.
- Use meaningless post titles. Titles like ‘Another meaningless Monday’ (You’ll notice that I’m ignoring title case for a double-newbie-effect.) and ‘Life sucks again’ are my personal favorites for looking newbieish. (Is newbieish even a word? Hmm.. Is newbie even a word?)
- Post erratically. Write 7 posts your first day, and then don’t post for a month. Then come back and post 9 times in a day, and then don’t post for another week. Trust me, it works. Do this, and you will definitely look like a newbie - people will surely take note.
- Beg every decent site you’ve ever heard of to link to you. Definitely don’t tell them about any posts you’ve written, just ask them to link to you without offering any reason at all why they should.</sarcasm>
Please no one take offense, this post is 20% a joke and 80% to show you a few things to avoid. I’ve personally made 9 of these common mistakes! It took me a few months to work them out of my system, so I thought it would help some of you that are starting out! Please let me know if you have any questions, I would be more than happy to help.
Update: 5/22/2007 - I just found a very funny article that compliments this one well - How To Make 4 Cents A Week From Your Blog
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May 19th, 2007 at 7:40 am
I disagree with point one - I don’t use ‘title case’ as you refer to it, because I personally prefer titles written using the same conventions as a sentence.
I guess it just comes down to personal preference, but I definitely wouldn’t say the capitalisation or non-capitalisation of titles marks a blogger out as a ‘newbie’.
- Martin Reed
May 19th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
I used to do it way as well! I definitely value your opinion on this one and I definitely don’t think it will cost anyone visits one way or the other.
I made the switch when I started reading more about copywriting and formatting. An interesting fact is that many people think that the way I do it is wrong, they say that the correct way is, “10 Easy Ways to Make Yourself Look Like a Blogging Newbie”. I use caps even for small words, and some say that it’s incorrect. I tried to choose the one that the most people use.
There are definitely differing opinions on this, and I value yours! Hopefully the other tips helped you out!
July 8th, 2007 at 12:07 am
i Think It comes Down to Making it Easier for the user to Read What You are saying. it gets A Little confusing when You’re trying to Understand what is Being written!
May 19th, 2007 at 9:36 am
mee too I agree on all your points expect the first one. I use Caps for all my titles. I just like it like that
May 19th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Well I’m glad that I’m mostly agreed with, at least I know that I’m not 100% on crack!
May 19th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
I enjoyed this post– and I recognize a few “newbie” things that I’ve done.
May 19th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
I’ve done them all plenty! I still need to clean up my categories a little actually.
May 19th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
I have to confess, I commit the title case offense but I have a good excuse. Title case in my newspaper’s headlines is a big no-no, so it’s just a force of habit.
May 19th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
I actually don’t really think that any single one of these make you look like a newbie. I think that when people do a combination people start to wonder…..
May 19th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Since I actually am a newbie, I´m going to take a giant leap and fix one thing right now. gulp. I tried to change my permalinks and ended up with a major error on my blog. If anyone can tell me how to fix this, it will be one less newbie error that I´m making! Great list, Court.
May 19th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
I wish I could be more help with that, I do know that your web hosting has to be able to handle a function called ‘mod rewrite’ to be able to process the different permalink structure!
May 19th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
lol
I must admit that for a few seconds you had me going. But then I realized it HAD to be a joke!
What are blogs anyway. Are those the things with writing on the Interweb?
Just curious!
May 19th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Haha that’s funny.
I think blogs have something to do with the AOL but I’m not sure, haha
May 20th, 2007 at 2:06 am
For me, Point #6 is not something to avoid, it’s my motto! But then, my blog is an anything and everything snark blog.
Now if I was planning to make money by blogging, I probably would do things differently. As it stands, I think my readers like my blog the way it is.
May 20th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
I guess it all depends on what you’re going for! If it’s for fun, then you might as well write about whatever you want!
May 20th, 2007 at 3:23 am
Opps! I’ve managed to make every mistake except the title case!
I also made the mistake of loads of categories and then listing the posts in every category.
May 20th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Yeah, I’ve almost made them all too.
Oooohhh, I didn’t even think of that mistake, that one maybe should have been number 11.
May 20th, 2007 at 5:05 am
I’d say that http://courtneytuttle.com/2007/02/27/not-using-permalinks-search-engine-suicide/ is still a newbieish URL
Probloggers would use this: http://courtneytuttle.com/not-using-permalinks-search-engine-suicide/
May 20th, 2007 at 11:41 am
You got me!!! That URL is more search engine friendly for sure. I like users to be able to see when an article was written though, so I left the date in there and will continue to do so.
John Chow does it the way you recommended, but ProBlogger (Darren Rowse, problogger.net) does it my way.
May 20th, 2007 at 10:15 am
I recognize a few “newbie” things that I’ve done too…
nice post!
May 20th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Why thanks!
May 20th, 2007 at 11:46 am
when I read the list, it sounded like you were talking directly to me, especially #6.
May 20th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Lol, I can assure you that I wasn’t! I think I was talking to myself on that one, my categories could use an overhaul.
May 20th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
So true, I have made some of these mistakes as well. I just have to learn!
May 20th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
funny haha not even sure that’d make a correct code. but good list.. I think I still do some of those mistakes because I am a newbie, I”m not denying that and I really don’t mind taking my time learning
May 21st, 2007 at 9:47 am
I bet that we’ll all see more and more things that look newbieish as time goes on. I’m sure I’m still doing some newbie things, I kind of am a newbie still.
May 20th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
heh I put the word Really between and before Funny but it didn’t appear (just so you know what code I’m talking about lol
May 21st, 2007 at 3:06 am
You should check out your “How much is your blog worth” thingy - I did, ‘cos I was sure it would be worth more… I was right!
Being a newbie, i thought it updated itself, but it doesn’t…
May 21st, 2007 at 9:47 am
I checked it out, thanks for the heads up!!
May 21st, 2007 at 1:10 pm
I would add making lots of typos. That’s what kills me and I’m just starting to learn how to do a better job editing.
May 21st, 2007 at 2:39 pm
True that! MAkinG typoss difenitely makes you look likke you don’t know whatt you’re doing.
May 21st, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Oh my goodness! That’s hilarious! It takes me back to the good old days when I had no clue what I was doing…I think that was last week sometime. Great post Court! I’m definitely going to have to stumble and digg this one, and I’m pretty picky.
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:22 am
I’m totally still a newbie, but don’t tell anyone.
Thanks for the stumble and digg! I can always use those, but more importantly I’m just glad that you liked the post!
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:13 am
As newbie I need posts like this. Want to be a ‘big boy’ as soon as possible!
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:23 am
I’ll keep writing them then! I want to be a ‘big boy’ too!
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:26 pm
Really interesting, the thing is I’m really a blogging newbie
I think you are a blogging genius
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:24 am
I’m definitely not a genius, but I don’t mind if you tell people that I am.
I think that more than anything I just try to do a lot of research, and I experiment a lot.
May 31st, 2007 at 11:00 am
Hi. Thanks for this list. I’ve been changing themes lately. Couldn’t find a them that suits my need yet. Anyway, I am just 6 months old to blogging.
May 31st, 2007 at 11:04 am
One more thing. I just made a spelling mistake in my earlier comment. I am not able to edit my comment. The ‘them’ supposed to be ‘theme’. Thank you.
June 1st, 2007 at 4:08 am
Hahahhaahhaaha… this article make me laugh.
I try to avoid those ‘mistakes’ above.
Greetings from Macedonia!
June 8th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Court,
I love this! I am totally guilty of the category thing. When I started I’d create about three new categories for every post. So now my category list is HUGE. That’s one of the few design changes I have left on my list.
I was also amused that some people wrote semi-defensive comments because you’d clearly named something that they do!
Sara
June 8th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
I know! People shouldn’t take too much offense - I’ve made most of these mistakes.
If we don’t ever figure out that we’ve done things wrong we can’t ever improve!
June 12th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
wow, you definitely get all the points right on spot, enjoy your blog here.
I notice you also have “subscribe to your RSS” right after your post, is it working? I”m just got my implemented, will see what kind of result will bring to my blog.
June 16th, 2007 at 1:42 am
Hi, Court,
I have to trouble you..;D Could you give me a hand ??
You see, my sidebars are like hanging.How do I make them the same height as the content part ?
Please let me know the codes to add into my html ??
Thanks in advance.
Or maybe anyone out there can help me ?? Please…;D
Thanks
June 20th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
This is cute, and so relevant! Thanks for a great post.
June 27th, 2007 at 11:43 am
June 27th, 2007 at 6:12 am
LOL you made me laugh! I was like in those 10 points I am sure i will be considered as Newbee. But I must tell you those are some of the mistakes people make in the beginning.
TTYL
June 27th, 2007 at 11:44 am
I think everyone has to make mistakes in order to get better. I made almost all of them!
July 1st, 2007 at 8:42 am
Hi Courtney,
How’s things?
Have not been visiting for some time. But looks like your blog still rocks!
Nice post about newbie blogging. =)
I made some of those mistakes too.
Cheers,
Jag
July 3rd, 2007 at 1:14 am
guilty as charged
July 7th, 2007 at 3:11 am
Another thing that you should do is to communicate and build a good social networking among your blogging network.
Some good bloggers didn’t update his blog everyday but always give comments on others people blog!
July 8th, 2007 at 12:09 am
Hi Court,
I love this post. I’m linking to it on my blog as we speak!
July 8th, 2007 at 9:30 am
Court
Great post, I’m a newbie blogger myself and I’ve done some of these.
July 8th, 2007 at 9:31 am
I checked out Lewis Empire, he did a great post on this article as well
July 10th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
[…] I was just surfing the web a little and I came across this great post by a fellow blogger named Courtney Tuttle. His posting is called 10 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Look Like a Blogging Newbie. […]
July 16th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
lol, this is pretty funny. I actually see a few things I do on this list. The problem is I don’t know how to change my URL on blogger. Is it possible? If it is maybe you could refer me to a site that tells you how to do it.. Good article though, it made me laugh
July 21st, 2007 at 9:35 am
[…] 10 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Look Like A Blogging Newbie | Make Money … 10 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Look Like A Blogging Newbie. Don’t use title case … programming, social media, home based business, fast … http://courtneytuttle.com/2007/05/19/10-easy-ways-to-make-yourself-look-like-a-blogging-newbie/ […]
July 22nd, 2007 at 5:51 am
[…] 10 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Look Like A Blogging Newbie - Court shares some techniques on how to be a blogging newbie. […]
July 29th, 2007 at 6:32 am
If still there are people doin these mistakes after being experienced tell them to stop blogging….
August 15th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
[…] 10 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Look Like A Blogging Newbie (59) […]
August 16th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Excellent advice court.
One more thing: Don’t pretend to be an expert if you are not. Tell your readers if you are a beginner and they’ll be happy to go along with you.